emotional crisis

For the past few days I can't understand what I feel. I keep thinking how am I going to overcome these feelings. So many questions...so many doubts...so many sama ng loob. May it be problems of with friends, work or relationship with the family. Actually, I'm beginning to have doubts on what I feel. I used to be very understanding before, how come I feel this way now? Maybe I'm thinking too much. There are times that it's better not to think and analyze situations. Coz if you do, it becomes a problem that keeps bugging you until things are ok.

Christmas is fast approaching....I need to have peace of mind...I want to be happy on this joyful season. Wish me luck!

Moving on...

i tried to smile so the hurt won't show
tell everybody i was glad to see you go
but the tears just won't go away
loneliness found me, looks like it's here to stay

i know that i ought to find someone knew
but all i find is myself always thinking of you

.....as the song says

It's really hard to let go the one you love
It's really hard to see him embracing somebody else
It's really hard to forget the feelings
But you have no choice...

if loving you is all that means to me
if being happy is all i hope you'll be
then loving you must mean i really have to set you free

.....as what Side A said in their song

You have to accept the fact that he's not yours
You have to get used to being alone again
You have to move on!

Love is a risk
Love is taking chances
So when you love a person
You're taking the risk
of investing your emotions, trust and time
So you should be ready
whatever the consequences
And moving on is part of it!

Is love really blind?

Have you ever fallen in love?
Do you believe that love is blind?
I don't!
If you love somebody you always try to understand him. You always try not to think postive. You always believe that person. I don't think you're being blind! I think you just trust that person. If blind means trusting a person then I think love is really blind.

When little by little your trust to that person fades out....that's when you realize a lot of things. That's when you understand the saying love is blind. You begin to see things differently.

Rest Day

I started the day late. I woke up at 2pm, had lunch and watched TV. By 4pm I got bored and decided to surf the net. I enjoyed exploring the hi5.

Try it! I assure you it's worth the try. By 6pm, I had to take a bath and prepare for my therapy which is originally scheduled at 6pm. Good thing O, our Physical Therapist informed me that she'll be an hour late.

Today is Ate Ruby's birthday so we had a family dinner. Everybody's present except for Kuya Cliff who is not feeling well. After dinner, while waiting for my turn for the therapy, we played Mahjong....This is the first time I played Mahjong with money involve....It's just for fun lang naman coz the amount is 5-10-15 pesos only. I only had 2 wins....In other words, talo ako! I lost 15 pesos huhuhu....Afterwards, I had to leave them coz it's my turn for the therapy. Currently, I'm watching the documentary special of Eat Bulaga Silver Anniversary.

Saturday Adventure

It's saturday once again....I love SATURDAY!!!!

My only plan on this day is to play badminton in the evening. What is planned is not always what will actually happen.

By 4:30pm my bro's family is going to attend a children's party at Shakey's. They asked me to join them. Syempre I joined them with no hesitation, kainan yun eh hehe....

We left the party by 7:15 and we're off to fetch my friend D who is going to play with us later. Our reservation is 8pm-10pm so we need to be in hurry going back home to prepare for the game....Yup, we're addict in badminton! But we only play during weekend that's why we're always excited when weekend comes.

The Players:
Me, D, Kuya Che, Kuya Cliff, Ate Pie, Chris, Vicky, Carlo and Nica

The Game:
We had several games. But I had 1 win only huhuhu.... It's ok, as long as I enjoyed the game =)...Vicky got injured, she was smashed by Ate Pie's racket..the racket's shape marked at her back! Buti na lang hindi pa major pasa hehe...

When we're about to leave the place, nagkayayaan mag-Tagaytay! Chris bought a new pick-up and we're teasing him to break-in it by going to Tagaytay...syempre dapat libre din niya ang coffee sa Starbucks hehe....And so, we did not fail!!! Yey! We're off to Tagaytay!!!!!

Me, D, Kuya Cliff, Ate Da, Carlo and Nica ride at the back. It's an adventure! We can see the sky with not so many stars but with full moon. As we go farther, the temperature is getting colder...brrrrr.....and our hair is soooo magulo! When we reached Tagaytay, there are still lots of people in the gimmik places. It's hard to find a parking space!

Starbucks is jampacked so we decided to dine at Pancake House since we're also hungry and not yet having dinner.



We had a bad experience on the said resto....they had poor service! Their bill is inaccurate plus their manager is not customer oriented! I don't think there'll be e next time!

We arrived home by 2:30am. D and I decided not to sleep to wait for the bus' 1st trip back to Manila. BTW, I'm staying in Laguna. It's an hour ride from Manila and D is staying in Pasay. She needs to go back early to prepare for her phone interview the next day. In order to keep ourselves awake, we watched our Bohol and Cebu vacation video. We had fun reminiscing what had happend during those four days. There are lots of kwento and side comments! By 6am, D needs to go back home now and we called it a day! =)

hiding emotions

I'm in emotional dilemma. I've been sooo confused since last night....

I'm torn between two projects. One will be done on-site (somewhere south of Luzon), the other one will be done in the office however the project costs way way higher. If I were to choose career wise, I'd choose the off-site project. But I prefer the on-site project for personal reason. Well don't ask what it is coz it's a looooong story!

Things are ok last thursday, but yesterday was different. I don't know which project will be given to me. Plus the fact that the supposedly team mate of mine for the on-site project is not going to join me anymore. She found a better job. Of course I felt bad. My mind is set already that she'll be joining my team. But what can I do? I do understand her. I know it's gonna be a big break in her career. I know she wants that job. I can't blame her. I'm not mad at her. Actually, I'm happy for her. But still, I can't help myself to be sad.

Staying in a power plant for 3 months without any friend is so lonely. How am I going to survive? Having team mates that I don't even know personally and unexperienced in the technology that we'll be using is a tough job! I've been thinking about that until now. I can't hide my emotions.

Today, I went out with my family. I tried my best to be as jolly as I used to be but I think i'm not quite successful! Malayo ang tingin, wala naman tinatanaw. Natutulala.

Now I'm beginning to accept the situation already...Que sera sera...What will be will be...I know this is a great challenge. And I know it won't be given to me by God if I won't be able to handle it. Anyway, I still don't know yet the management's decision on which project will I be assigned.

To you my friend, goodluck to your new job! =)

It's monday again

It's monday again....I have to wake up early to avoid the monday traffic...grabe...as early as 4:50am my bro's waking me up na! super aga!

oh well...look at the brighter side....and so I arrived early at the office....when I opened my email...wow dami kong unread mails! So I start my day by reading my emails...then when 8:30 comes....work agad! I have a presentation by 3:30 and I'm not yet prepared...ayun work to death ako....grabe, CR lang ang pahinga! even at lunchtime i'm working! Buti na lang I beat the deadline =)

I wana go home early and rest early....well, I was able to go home early however, I'm still awake till now! haha...addict magsurf!!! had a chance to chat with my friend M. She's my close buddy during my early years in the company. It's been a long time since we last chat....I miss her a lot...especially our gimmik escapades =)...It's nice to keep in touch with her again!

ok...it's 11:30 already....I have to sleep na...had to wake up at 5:30am tomorrow....nytnyt....

My Trip to Bohol - Day 2

October 17, 2004

1st Activity: Dolphin Watching
We woke up early...5:00am....we have to leave by 5:30am coz the Dolphins show up early....eventhough we didn't have enough sleep, the enthusiasm is still high....we're off without any food in our stomach....we didn't expect that the boat ride will be too long....ang layo pala ng Pamilacan Island! We didn't know that we're at the Dolphin site already.....when we hear the bangkero shout it's too late na.....nakita na pala niya yung Dolphin! When it's our turn to see it...wala na....nakaalis na yung Dolphin....huhu....we have to wait na naman for several minutes....waaa......it's too long na and we're getting dizzy already.....we're hungry na kasi and the sea is too wavy na.....so we decided to go back.....sayang ang oras at pagod! Oh well, that's life.....

2nd Activity: Breakfast
Super gutom kami but we can't eat too much...nalipasan na yata kami ng gutom....grabe the rice is salty! Salt water yata yung ginamit pang-saing hehe....tapos yung waitress ayaw ibigay sa kin yung hot choco....yung big mineral water ang inabot sa kin, that's not my order! Haha I think she wants me to go on a diet!

3rd Activity: Massage
E and I had a 30 minutes massage...ang sarap...sooo relaxing.....we want to take a nap hehe....

4th Activity: Swim
We had a 15 minutes swim.....that's gonna be our last dip in the sea....kaya lang wrong timing eh! It's low tide and a lot of sea weeds are spread near the shore....however....it seems like were walking on powder as we walk barefoot on the beach....ang sarap ng feeling =)...even if it's kinda short, we did enjoy that swim.

5th Activity: Loboc River
On our way to Loboc River, we passed by a nipa hut plantation. Cool!



We had our lunch in the floating restaurant at Loboc River...I won't tell you the menu coz it's too many to mention...eat all you can kasi....kaya ayun super busog na naman kami. The scenery is sooo green. It's beautiful! I consumed a lot of mini DV capturing the beauty of the Loboc River.



6th Activity: Tarsier
There are 8 Tarsiers in the cage but we only saw 6...hmmm... where did the other two go?



7th Activity: Chocolate Hills
On our way to Chocolate Hills, we passed by a man-made forest full of mahogany trees....It's soooo beautiful!



When we reach the park, it's raining! We can't have a nice view of the Chocolate Hills because it's foggy. Because "Patience is a virtue", we waited till the rain stopped. While waiting, we shopped for some souvenir items. Ang dami namin napamili!!!! Nawili! hehe.....



8th Activity: Hanging Bridge
I'm so afraid passing thru the bridge that's why I wasn't able to reach even 1/3 of the bridge hehe....

9th Activity: Baclayon Church and Blood Compact Monument
It's late already and the church is closed na! Sayang! However the Blessed Sacrament is still open so we dropped by and said a little prayer.

It's too dark already and we can't take a nice shot of the monument...here's a shot I got from my bro when they went there a week earlier...



10th activity supposedly is Hinagdanan Cave
Dahil late na, we won't be able to go down the cave...so we didn't visit it na....sayang pagod eh...di bale, we'll be coming back =)



Come dinner time...we tried the resto on which the specialty is kebab....yummy!!!!
Then we had a shot of tequila....it's E's first tequila =)

Before the day ends...we had our hena tattoo...

my orchid tattoo



J's butterfly tatto



E's rose tatto



D's barb wire tatto

Inspiration to diet

On January 2005, I'll be a bridesmaid on my close friend's wedding. As I opened my email, I saw the sketch of my gown...WOW!!!! Ang sexy!!!! I need to go on a diet in order to give justice to the gown. But wait! I only have less than 3 months! Kaya ko ba yun???? That's the BIG question! I'll try my best and hope for the best! Wish me luck ;-)

Here is a snapshot of my gown:

My Trip to Bohol - Day 1

This is long overdue but I really want to share it to you.

October 16, 2004 9:30am - We're off to Bohol riding a B737, Flight PR175.
We arrived a little late to the airport...around 8:30am....no chance to choose a window side seat coz all the window seats are taken. Wow we never expect that there's gonna be a lot of passengers coz it's not peak season....oh well maybe a lot of Boholanos are going home to take advantage of PAL's promo. Imagine, the airfare is 50% off!!!! That's a great deal!

We're too busy chitchatting and picture taking that we didn't recognize the time. Almost an hour na pala ang nakalipas and it's boarding time already. Syempre, picture taking pa rin sa tube at sa plane....Super excited that we even take a shot of LTP...hindi nga kami nahiya dun sa katabi namin na nasa window seat....he's a foreigner so we thought he won't mind ;-)



...it's our remembrance....E and me worked there for a month last year...we developed a prototype - a Document Management System for their aircraft manuals. Even if we didn't won the bid, we still take it as a nice experience.

The fasten your seatbelt sign is on....we are about to land in Tagbilaran City already...WELCOME TO BOHOL!!!!! Yey!!!!!
Syempre, super excited kami....but we didn't rushed to get off the plane....ang haba kasi ng pila....while discussing on who's in charge of looking for a taxi, a passenger butt in..."Taga Bangko Sentral ba kayo?"...Nye! why did he asked us that...mukha ba kaming finance peeps?..."Hindi po" sagot namin...."May papunta kasing taga-Bangko Sentral dito, akala ko kayo yun"....We smiled and thought that's the end of the conversation....then we continue the discussion on the taxi topic...."Maraming taxi dyan paglabas nyo ng airport, or if you want tawag kayo sa rent a car...magtanong kayo dun sa information may directory sila dun.".....aba nakikinig pala sa usapan namin....I acknowledge his godwill..."Ganun po ba, sige salamat po"...."San ba kayo papunta?"...."Sa Alona Land po"...."May maaarkila kayo dyan sa labas na taxi....marami dyan"...."Magkano po kaya ang sisingilin sa min ng driver?"....."Mga 350"....."Ah ok...salamat po".....Aba, little did I know....all of my friends are smiling........They keep telling me "Naniniwala na kami na mabili ka sa mga bisaya".....haha....kahit anong explanation ko, I can't convince them that they're just being friendly lang......

Wow, the airport is different....walang tube....labo-labo sa pagkuha ng baggage....you can really feel that you're far from Manila. The excitement becomes more intense......so we went out and look for a cab....good thing....mabait si Manong Alex, our taxi driver....his price is reasonable naman so we asked him to be our official service...

1st Activity: LUNCH!
We are too hungry that we ignore all the people offering souvenir items.....
Grabe, the restaurants are too far from our place pala! So the first resto that we saw, dun na lang kami naglunch....Good thing the food is not bad....or maybe because we're too hungry that all the food that we eat are delicious hehe....
MENU:
1 Sinigang na baboy
1 Chopsuey
2 Buttered Chicken
4 Plain Rice
1 Big Mineral Water

2nd Activity: Island Hopping
Syempre we look for an affordable boat to rent....we have to stick within our budget....We thought there's gonna be a more than 1 island that we're going to visit..."Island Hopping" nga di ba?....hehe one island lang pala yung pupuntahan namin....Balicasag Island....We are too excited to go snorkling and see different kinds of fishes....so off we go....at first, we're sailing smoothly....but after sometime...the waves are getting bigger....grabe, our boat is small and the water is splashing on us already.....no one is showing a sign of worry but D is screaming everytime the water is splashing on us....hehe nakakabingi!!!! Ang tinis pa naman ng boses niya hehe......at last we're near the island already....kaya lang it took us a long time before we found a place to go snorkling....sulit naman yung pagod....there are a lot of colorful fishes....we saw violet star fishes!!!! Ang ganda!!!



3rd Activity: DINNER!
Nagutom kami sa kakalangoy...so as early as 6:30 we had dinner na....
MENU:
1 Beef with oyster sauce
1 Grilled Squid
1 Grilled Porkchop
1 Grilled Pork Belly
1 Coke
4 Plain Rice

exploring blogger

I enjoyed exploring my blog...nakaka-addict hehe. I'm not yet finished but I have to stop for a while and rest my eyes coz I have to take a bath pa...hehe...I don't like my smell anymore =)